I was visiting with a friend today, and the topic of self-trust came up. She was trying to decide if she should find a new job. She was fearful that maybe she would never find a job where her skill set would be appreciated. As we talked, I noticed it wasn't that she didn't have a valuable skill set to offer; she did a fantastic skillset. It was that she was offering it to people who did not want her skill set. She was rolling a boulder up a hill saving their business, and they were actively trying to push her back down the hill. How stressful. She doubted herself and that intuitive knowing she had that it was time to move on to a job where she would be appreciated for her skill set. She shared that it was hard to trust herself. She recognized this came from always looking to others for feedback and praise on her decisions.
I shared this is human. We look to others to know how we are doing. Still, to truly tune into our intuition, we need to tune into ourselves to understand how we are doing. I shared that it can be painful when we feel others' disapproval. It is natural to want to reach outside of ourselves to gain someone's approval. I shared an example from my own life. I am getting ready to paint my house (hopefully soon), and one night I was outside watering my flowers. I started to spray my house down with a hose to get all the dirt off the exterior. As I was finishing this up, my neighbor's Mom, walked out of the house, and she started to ask in a very judgemental tone, "Why is there water everywhere?" I shared I am just cleaning the outside of my house. She laughed and said, "Oh that is silly but no judgement. I just thought maybe a pipe had broken or something."
I shared this story with my friend, and I said people's judgments sting, and they hurt even when they are ridiculous. Still, we have to decide if we are going to let what other people think to rule our lives or if we can kindly say to ourselves ahh that is about them, and I know this is true and correct for my life.
Ask yourself for a moment when has not trusting yourself stopped you from taking that next step in your life? To be able to listen to your intuition, you need to be able to trust yourself. I think taking people's feedback can be an invaluable source of information. I have a few people in my life that, when they give me feedback, I stop, listen, evaluate, and then decide if I will move forward with their feedback. I always go back to myself before I take action. These helpful friends and mentors whose feedback I listen to want the best for me and are not attached to how I live my life; they give me freedom and love me for who I am regardless of whether I take their feedback. That is the feedback you want to consider. Throw out all the other feedback you may receive in life. As you trust yourself more, your intuition grows.
